Kind Words are Like Honey

by a Connected Foster Care mother, Samantha Marler

I have to share this with those who will care, the ones who will “get it.” In January, we all found ourselves barking orders, being critical, and cranky. Granted, we were exhausted and I have come to learn that grace is very much needed in those exhausting moments of parenting. Those less than perfect moments left me questioning “What could we do better next time?” After analysis, I determined that complimenting everyone on everything would help grow a healthier and happier home. I made it my goal to be sure to complement each person each day at least one time for one month, especially our foster kids. I was reflecting on my progress at the end of my timeline. I did fairly well at ensuring everyone got a compliment. However, I didn't see the huge change I was looking for in my “experiment”. I shared with a friend how I was kind of disappointed that my family hadn't picked up on my compliment party. I’d nearly decided that my theory was a bust. I was determined that if anything else, my little family would know I thought positively about them. I kept piling it on. 

Some of my simple examples: 

1. post-op for surgery, I just kept telling them how strong they were, they were great at rolling in that bed, and they were good kiddos. 

2. You put your shoes on so good!! 

3. I love the way you closed that door gently. 

4. You're such a good colorer! 

5. You’ve got such a cute smile. 

No matter how rough things were, I made sure to compliment them on something. There's something good about every child. We only need to have eyes to see it, and wisdom to share it with them. In the past 5 days (10-20 days past my trial period), our foster boys have spoken about how they feel loved because I say nice things to them. Today they were pouring compliments into each other! One was still a little uncomfortable with how a compliment is created and stumbled around it for a second but developed the sweetest compliment for his brother. Y'all, my heart is so full seeing them love each other, being kind, and learning to share positive language.

“Kind words are like honey - sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.” Proverbs 16:24 NLT