Making a House a Home

by: Christen Hayes, the Jonesboro Family Care Case Manager

When a family first begins the Desired Haven program, our goal is to help them build a firm foundation. We begin by presenting an example of a house. When building a house, we want to start with a strong foundation before we focus on putting up walls or a roof. In Desired Haven, this would look like introducing and putting into practice some of our 7 focus areas. We strive to achieve felt safety and connection so that our interactions can be healthy and productive (health). We emphasize time management skills such as morning and bedtime routines (time management). We begin counseling and prepare calming plans to help parents identify triggers and find various ways to maintain or return to a calm, regulated state (health). We discuss spiritual goals, such as ways to make God your lifeline, where to find truth, and a life purpose statement (spiritual). Our emphasis is on the LORD building the house and being the foundation of the family.

”Unless the LORD builds the house,
the builders labor in vain.”

- Psalm 127:1

After spending some time building a strong foundation, we are ready to begin putting up the walls. At this stage we begin introducing new parenting skills (parenting), learning how to budget and manage finances (financial), implementing and maintaining boundaries (relationships), and putting housekeeping strategies into practice (housekeeping). This stage is time consuming and the length varies from family to family. We do not want to overwhelm our families or try to change or teach too much at one time. This stage also includes accessing community resources and building a strong, support system to help maintain the home.

When a family is ready to put on the roof, they are in the final stage and ready for independence. This last stage involves creating and following an exit or mock budget for independent living. The family is securing independent housing and we work together to make sure they have the items needed to have a safe, comfortable home. We want to make sure we celebrate this milestone, as well as smaller victories on the journey. By the end of a successful completion of the program, we have a strengthened family living their lives for God’s glory.